Sunday, 22 September 2013

Autumn Cleaning

I just spent Friday (mostly) piling a bunch of junk into my truck. This is debris from construction, but a lot was junk that has been accumulating, and a lot of it was in the front porch.
I'm turning into that old-man-who-lives-alone-and-smells-funny-and-has-a-pile-of-junk-in -his-front-porch!
OK, maybe I don't have the old-man-lives-alone smell, but I might as well. Or maybe I do and everyone is just too polite to mention it.
Maybe I need another shower. But I digress.
I DO have an accumulation of possibly useful junk in my front porch.

That I will never use.

So a lot of it got tossed (not easy to tell, but it really is cleaner), but I still have a ways to go.
The thing is, a lot of what I threw out is -- or ought to be -- useable. It could be re-purposed, it should be re-purposed, but I had to finally admit, it will not be by me. And I have no way to get it to anyone who will. So it went into the trash.
I just had one of those growth moments, when I realize that the scraps I was saving because I have an idea in the back of my mind, some creative thing that I could make out of this piece, shall never be used. If I haven't found the time to make X yet, there is zero chance that I'm suddenly going to find time, ever. I'm too busy with active projects and ideas.
My growth moment is finally letting go of all those various improbable possibilities so that I may embrace the probable ones.
And that's what life is: understanding that, of all the potential paths and potential things I might do, or wish to do, most open doorways realistically get closed off and are never actually going to happen. Those bits and pieces of stuff that I've been keeping to use on an imagined project? I'm never going to execute that project. I just don't have the time; that is OK; that is what growing up is all about. Ask a class of 7 year olds what they want to be when they grow up and then check on them 30 years later to see who -- if any -- have achieved anything close to their dream. Did you? Did you sit there and say you wanted to be what you are doing now? What happened to those dreams? Well, reality took them away and gave you a bunch more, if you dare to dream them.
I suppose Friday was the opposite of spring cleaning, it's Autumn harvest: time to prune the tree of potential. To pare off the pointless daydreams and keep the dreams that I might seriously turn into reality.

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